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Showing posts from 2017

Thankful for another school year

This morning was as glum as they come. While tomorrow we will be celebrating the first of many days of summer ahead, this morning the air was rife with mixed emotions - those of celebration, of sadness, and of impending farewells. It was the last day of school, and no amount of Canada-themed spirit day hype or paraphernalia was going to mask that. 
I couldn't quite wrap my head around my children's thinking, I mean, summer holidays were about to begin! It was only after I left them at school and walked back home that I realized I had forgotten what it's like to be in my kids' shoes on this joyous day. 
I remember the celebratory cheers at the final bell and the rushing out of school to the tune of 'no more homework' and 'swimming pools here we come!" But as I carefully thought back to my fourth grader's face at the breakfast table, I dug deeper and started remembering all of the other bigger thoughts that came with this day. The joy at having found t…

FIVE

Wishes do come true. But only if you make them happen. 
It was late evening on March 21, 2012. I was standing on my front porch, surrounded by the chill night air, and listening to the melting creek bed whispering notes of spring. I had just left the hospital and my MRI and there was nothing to do now but wait, and live in this moment. 
I stared up at our second storey windows. Inside, my children slept soundly, oblivious to the turmoil in their mother's mind. I turned my head to the baby's window. She stirred. There would be no nursing tonight, the MRI's contrast agent coursing through me had nixed that. At 15 days old, she was already getting used to my not being around. I wondered if this was to become a pattern. Would I be there to hear her first words, to see her first steps, and to watch her enter kindergarten? I was angry and determined to do away with most, if not all of these unknowns. I didn't know how I would do it, but I was going to give it my all.
Of course,…

Time to Choose

Today, I caught myself making excuses for not writing. Again. So I will now attempt (and hopefully succeed) in proving myself wrong, thereby throwing all previously held misconceptions on what I can actually get done in an evening out the window. Here goes...
A lovely colleague stopped me in the hall today to let me know she'd enjoyed reading my most recent post, and suggested that I should continue writing. I was taken aback, and of course, deeply thankful for the compliment, but at the same time, I was reminded of the fact that writing for me is a luxury, to which I devote very little time. I'm a mom first, a professional second, and I leave writing for the rare occasions when I have enough time and energy left over to make a proper attempt. I believe I uttered a heartfelt thank you, followed by a series of excuses that began with, "I love writing but I wish I could find time to write more often", and, "perhaps if I wrote through the night." I walked awa…